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I'm Not Afraid of The Dark

Ugly Women have Pussies, Too

(Written while Slaving All Day Over a Hot Snatch)

*for Jade 4 U, Darnella Williams and Tom Robbins

Pussy is holy.
I loves Pussy
(Pussy that is Clean, not Funky)
I knows Pussy runs in the Family…
I find Pussy Hilarious!
Look! See? My Pussy is doing Stand-Up Comedy! (oof! oof!)
I want to wrap my Pussy-Lips ’round your Gigglebone of Love
like a Candy-Striped Swizzle-Stick!
If I were God, Everyone would have one!
We’re talkin’ dog Pussy, cat Pussy, roach Pussy, rat Pussy,
pigeon Pussy, squirrel Pussy, (for that Wild, Smoked-Nut flavor)
ant Pussy, cricket Pussy, termite Pussy, butterfly Pussy, housefly Pussy,
or there’s domestic Pussy, (or any Pussy from Queens!) -There
We’re talkin’ comatose-tame Pussy…. BAW-ring, PREDICTABLE, but
Safe. Non-toxic. Stay at Home by the Fire Pussy, Pussy from the Heartland,
Pussy from the Farm. Roll-in-the-Hay-while-my-kid-sister-plays-
and-my-folks-are-away-Pussy, (Perhaps Pussy from Iowa?)Pussy that has to be up Early
Tomorrow at the crack of the cock’s call to do Her Many Many Chores…….
We’re talkin’ goat Pussy, chicken Pussy, cow Pussy, horse Pussy, sheep Pussy
and Duck-in-the-Pond-Pussy (Not the wooden, easily-snapped kind
unless you want Your Splinter to have splinters)
And then there’s pig Pussy,
(for When I’m feeling Particularly Greedy) I likes tame Pussy, but
wild Pussy keeps me up Later at Night.
I loves wild Pussy!
Pussy with savvy. Pussy with wit, Independent Pussy, Tough Pussy.
Pussy from either the wrong nationality, the wrong neighborhood,
or the wrong side of the tracks. Mean Pussy. Butch Pussy, Bull-Dagger
Bull-Dagger
Bull-Dagger-Dyke Pussy, Pussy test-Licked and Eaten by Experts, Pussy
Eaten by Thieves. Lesbian-Feminist-Separatist Pussy
(But with the Expiration Date under the left Labia,
this Pussy doesn’t stay Fresh for long!)
Black Pussy, White Pussy, Polka-Dot and Striped Pussy,
I Don’t Care What Kind of Pussy, Cool Pussy, Cruel Pussy
and Pussy with Problems, (often Mistaken for Old Pussy, Loose Pussy
Street Pussy or Pussy Too Nasty for Company, whichever the Case may be) This Pussy, that Pussy-(AHEM! SNIFF. HELLO?
yes?/BEFORE THE AUTHOR CONTINUES WITH THIS TRITE ADOLESCENT SILLINESS, MIGHT WE, THE IMAGINATION
INTERJECT?/why certainly./WE”D LIKE TO CLARIFY WHICH PUSSY IS MOST PRONE FOR PROBLEMS./ okay. which?/THE NEUROTIC PUSSY!

Oh…….I See…………………………HELEN?!
GET THIS PENIS OUT OF HERE! )
Today
you See I’m just a common Pussy, Your average Twat.
Guttersnipe Snatch…………………..but I’m not just Any Pussy,
This Pussy has Vision.
This Pussy has Dreams.
Someday this Pussy
is gonna be a Star!

13 NOVEMBER 1993
I’M NOT AFRAID OF THE DARK #24
FINNEGAN

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