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Ode to the End of the American Dream and other anti-racist poems I'm Not Afraid of The Dark

Some Scenes from the Tales of an Uppity Nigger!

*For Darren Ross and Seamus Moran with love

SCENE ONE:
I am the Ripping Bone
Vultures can choke on Me because
I have given up fighting in this Fierce Desewrt Heat O’Love
and I am a coward.
They can pick my miserable bones clean
but I don’t want to close my eyes as
I am Afraid of the Dark
I am Afraid of the Moon
and the Blood-Lusty Thoughts it fills my Head with.
“Hey?! What’s that Big Light up There”?
I Don’t Like the Sun
[No QuieroDel Sol]
Turn the Big Light Off
but I am Afraid of the Dark and I am a coward

SCENE TWO:
I am the Ripping Bone
and this Poem
is Not
about Whistles in the Night or the Silence of My Empty
Filthy Aprartment with a Singing Refridgerator by
the Sink-full of Dirtied Dishes
Or the Fact that “I is One po’ poet…..” [YESSUM, SHO’ NUFF!]
and I am hoping to get rich One Day because
I can’t take care of myself quite as Sufficiently as
I am 23 and I am ashamed
of my Crippling Stupidity
And I am Always Alone
Always Alone in the Dark
Because No One has the Courage to Love Me
and I am the Ripping Bone

SCENE THREE:
Wisdom
is Not Suffering
and if I were Wise
I’d stop Whining to You
Dear Audience
and Inspire You!
I ain’t no Fuckin’ – “Dark Poet” –
I ain’t gonna give you no
jive-ass
no-class
so-crass
Spoken Word
on how Fucked Up the World is…
You didn’t come Here to be Depressed
You didn’t come Here to be Preached
At and I
ain’t gonna do it,
Nope. Unh-Unh. No Sir.
I ain’t gonna give You no
Bull-Shittin’
Prick-Spittin’
Cotton-Pickin Sermon, Fuck That!
I ain’t no – “Dark Poet” –
I ain’t gonna Preach to the Converted
No way.
I am a coward, True And My Eyes Aren’t Blue
[but I like to Sleep with White People, Uh-huh, Uh-huh]
But I am Honest
and I am Sincere
And I am the Ripping Bone
I’m not gonna Scare You
I am the Ripping Bone

SCENE FOUR:
[This is Not a Bone Poem]

SCENE FIVE:
Did I neglect to tell You And You….
and You
My Sexual Orientation?
Oh yeah, right. Make-up my Mind, Right? [Asshole!]
Bisexuality is not the Midpoint between Hetero and Homo, ______
It’s a point of Expansion Between the Two
But I promised You
I wouldn’t whine
Didn’t I?
I Promised You.

SCENE SIX:
The other day I was on the Corner of Seventh Avenue and Christopher
and This Man is looking at Me and He’s saying:
“Do you want me to leave, huh? Do ya? Do you want me to Leave”?
And I don’t say anything
And He’s a Persistent Fucker. He Follows Me to the Curb,
And He’s whispering almost,
And I can Barely Hear Him,
His Breath, a Fiery Blast of Alcoholic Furnace at my Cheek
And He’s saying: “I don’t think You’re Listening to Me, Boy”.
And He’s wrong, Of Course.
And I don’t say anything,
And He pulls out this Gun
And His Eyes are so Blue
the Setting Sun sets them Ablaze
in His Face
like Chips of Ice
and He says: “That’s Right, I’m a Cop! That’s Right!” and He
Shows Me His
Badge as
I feel cold Steel against my temple
and hear the Pistol click into place
And I Think this has gotten Quite Silly by this point.
I’m Smiling at Him, Most Amused…
He abruptly walks away.
Welcome to New York City.
This is Your Tour Guide, Rod Serling.
You have the Right to remain Silent.

SCENE SEVEN:
Yes, it’s True.
I used to live in the South Bronx.
I Was a Blonde then. Headphones Eternally Blasting
Annie Lennox.
Chal, I
was Scary-lookin’ ……..Some Faggot Told me I looked Better Not, I
Thanked Him for Sharing, like I really needed His Approval,
I’d Rather Not Whine about it…..I will Continue…..
So I was just walking to the Subway, you know, minding my own business,
Going to take the [4]Train at 170th Street in the Bronx
to 23rd Street in Manhattan,
where I attended the Harvey Milk School
so
This Cop calls Me from the Turnstyle
Pulls Me aside, and takes Me into This Darkened Room
wher all these Other Cops are sitting, Dimly Lit,
like Fucking seething/sizzling Bacon in a Dark Skillet
[which I realized was
Now the Frying Oan My Ass was Also in. But Deep]
and They’re shining their Flashlights in my Face
so I can’t see Their Badges
and They’re making Me take off my clothes
and They’re taking my picture over and over
And They see the Pin on the Lapel of My Leather Jay:
S i l e n c e = D e a t h
and: “Whassamatta? Cat got your Tongue”?
and They all hoot,
Snicker, snort and holler like Horrid Hogs
and: “We ain’t talkin’ cause Silence equals Death, Mutherfucker”!
and I DO NOT fuck my Mother [Perish the thought!]
as the thought Never crossed My Mind,
But You are About to Enter a World of Sight and Sound Twisting
past the Last Signpost of Reality Lies Ahead, the Next stop.
The Twilight Zone……
And Humiliated, I tried to put Back on My Clothes
But They Wouldn’t let Me as They had some Polaroids to Take
Home to Mama
with some black-faggoty-freak mother
[WHOM I DO NOT] Fucker
and I kept my cool,
I did the Best I Could to remain Dignified Throughout,
I have the Right to, You know…..
I am not a freak
or a faggot
or a nigger.
I am a Human Being. Just Like You,
and I have Some Self-Respect
soI would not reply to those Police-people’s Taunts, because
I Have the Right
to Remain Silent…..

SCENE EIGHT/FINAL SCENE:
So what an I gonna do?
Nothing.
Only to Those with Ears Enough to Listen, That’s who I’m gonna Tell.
That’s Who.
This is the Quintessential Finnegan.
This is Not
Some pointless, flowery, Esoteric Mumbo-Jumbo
“I am like …………………….. [-Cool-[SNAP FINGERS]-Cool-[SNAP FINGERS]-
an East Village Poet……… [-Cool-[SNAP FINGERS]-Cool-[SNAP FINGERS]-
And I am like So Chic …… [-Cool-[SNAP FINGERS]-Cool-[SNAP FINGERS]-
that like
I haven’t Even Written
any Poetry……………….….. [-Cool-[SNAP FINGERS]-Cool-[SNAP FINGERS]-
But I’m like…………….……. [-Cool-[SNAP FINGERS]-Cool-[SNAP FINGERS]-
STILL an East Village Poet
[-Cool-[SNAP FINGERS]-Cool-[SNAP FINGERS]-
At least until My lease runs out
and I have to move to a Cheaper Section of Manhattan…….”

8 September, 1992
I’m Not Afraid of the Dark #26
Finnegan

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