For MICHAEL STONE, ADONIS FAZEKAS, JONATHAN WALSH and PAT, wherever he is
There were No Words to Describe
THE LlGHT
when It come For Him.
THI LIGHT was only Whole
because of His Appreciation for It
And in this He was Healed.
There were No Pictures to describe
This LIGHT
to His mind for THE LIGHT was Limitless·
and if he were a part
of it
(And It assured Him He was …. )
he needed none.
No Perception was at all required of him.
Only his Appreciation
for In This
He was Healed.
There were No Witnesses to describe
his Healing
which happened Suddenly
as his Sanity
quietly returned to Reason;
where it could be reasonably
addressed, clean of accusation, pure in Power
and Radiant
for it seemed
That if a Miracle was his to have
It could not have happened without his help
And he must have helped himself to it
By helping himself Through
For it
And it was never Outside of him
It was there all along Within him
If only he could
Always
Live in THE LIGHT
But THE LIGHT
Of which he was a Part
Did Not Go Away
simply because there
were Areas in his
Perception Where It was
not.
It Stayed.
Until he had Nowhere
to hide
it would remain,
Plain and Unambiguous
Waiting Patiently to be…….
……..Included.
For THE LIGHT did have Aspirations
to be
Everywhere,
And it begins with Me.
I was a Fallen Angel..
Now I hove Risen Up a Beautiful Angel
with Nothing But Love
For The Light is My
Message to all Who Believe they
are in Darkness
YOU.. are a Torch of Perfect Love
Do Not Feed (cuz it’s Not Very Tasty)
From this Love for it may give You Pleasure
to do so
For awhile …
but You do this Only
at the Expense
of Yourself
Learn this Because
Though I went through
Pain to Understand it
YOU don’t need to!
I am a CRACK ANGEL…… I have earned my Wings.
I have
Survived in
the Blackest
of Hells Not to Hate Them,
Not to Lament Them,
Not to Condemn Them,
but merely
to Forgive Them
Their Madness
for Insanity is not
the Will of God.
YOU Have the Strength to Control, Tame and even
Subdue Your Appetites!
I am Living Proof of This. And Through My Example
can You thus Recognize Your Total Freedom From
Appetite,
No One is Forcing You
to Consume
ALL the Time. If You do so, it is because You’re
H U N G R Y! But what You Hunger for cannot Content You,
For You Hunger on the Unstable Scales of Desire,
and there,
Nothing
can Satisfy You
and Nothing Ever will………. /There You Will Always Be I N S A T I A B L E /
In Insatiable Hunger that is the Purpose of Your Existence, to be a sick leech,
to feed off of Nothing, and to Deceive, Deceive, Deceive
One and All
into the Belief That what’s Painful can be Pleasurable, and That Misery is Bliss….. .
Appetites Exist a Sick Mechanism of Belief
with Which to
Occupy the Idle Mind……
I know Why You Appetites Do
What You Do
To Deceive Me and My Many
Wounded Loves into Supporting You and your
Worthless Cause,
We, the Fever-Lost, in Sick Seas of Lies,
Repressed Rage, or Denial Pleasantly Disguised
as Hedonism
Are THE CRACK ANGELS
Who are, as Such,
Condemned and Hated,
AND HATING OURSELVES……..
My Example shall
be Different
in That I am Here
and Condemn
No One.
As a CRACK ANGEL
to Hate
I Know that
Nothing cannot
Content Me,
being Terribly Unsatisfying……..
I will Drink The Secrets of
The Ages
in My Decision
to Choose to Use My Wings to Fly, their Only Function,
rather than Choose
to Perceive Myself
In Any Light,
as Sick,
Wounded,
and Expelled from The Divine……………….
……………..I Know that Heaven is Safe in My Heart,
God would have It Be
and in that
is My SALVATION
which I would Share with You
As a Rare
self-Confessed
CRACK ANGEL I,
Hereby CHOOSE NOT to Use,
as I am Always Free to Do,
as I also Choose Not to Support The Appetite
For THE INSIDIOUS CRACK D E M O N,
For This is really The Appetite
for Nothing
and I would Gain, not Lose,
in my Journey Through Time
to The Light of All Eternity
(which has Promised Me Safe Passage)
For on This Journey,
No Darkness may delay The Son of God
if that is Not His Wish.
I may Wish
for Anything
but everything I Wish For
I must be willing to Accept and Appreciate …
If there is any Pain,
the Only Thing There I can Appreciate is that
if I have asked for it
And Don’t Really Want It, _
Then There Must be A Part of Me
I am Responsible for Making …………………… That I’m Completely Unaware of
which is Totally Out of Control
And if I would be Sane,
I will Not Lose Sight of the Workings
of My Shadow
I would Work Vigilantly for My peace of Mind
to
relinquish all Control I Believe I Possess……..
It is This Very Control
Which is
in Fact, the Source of My Insanity,
which will Always Seem
when Put To Light;
to Gnaw Ravenous On The Edge of All Sanity
because of What it is ………… Needless Anxiety in Seductive Search
of Perfect Health to deceive
and Replace with Itself
As AN OFFICIAL CRACK ANGEL
I solemnly Swear
to
Heal the
Hole
Crack creates for
Insatiable Desire
in Me
Recognizing that I have No Needs that will Not
be Nurtured and Met SPIRITUALLY,
For SPIRlT is already P e r f e c t
and Needs Nothing
to EXTEND ITS DEATHLESS PEACE AND VITALITY
by Shining ITS GREAT GIVING LIGHT Unobstructed and Freely
to All Minds who Care to Receive It
As A CRACK ANGEL
I also Solemnly Swear
NOT to CONDEMN
ANYONE Using Crack
but ask Them Not to Lie
and Be Honest About It
And
Most Crucial,
To Bless Them and Give Them the Love
They are Really Asking For
until Such
Time
Comes as
They can Simply
Be
what it is They’re
Truly Looking for
so Their Search-Mission
will Finally come to
a Happy End ……..
I AM NOT YOUR ANGEL OF DESTRUCTION ……..
…….. I AM THE ANGEL OF YOUR RESURRECTION
Only Love can bring You Back from The Dead
But You Must Actively Support This Love
And Your Light is Your Life
There is nothing
You need to do for Your own Healing
except NOT Interfere with it and let it Be. It will Happen
of Itself, without Your help. However it is Necessary First
to Recognize Your Healing is Not of Your own making. For if
it Were. You would Never Heal….
In Time,
We may
Have made it necessary to Heal Ourselves
But We cannot provide the Healing by Demand.
We must Decide for Healing for It to be there….
For Healing comes upon Invitation Only, ·
And Never without Your Conscious Awareness.
I could Only Heal
When I Decided
I was Sick
and Tired
and Tired of Being Sick
with Rage.
I Decided
I was Sick of being Angry
About things So Old
it didn’t make sense to Continue Remembering Them
And I decided to Heal
because I needed to Survive
This to Help YOU
Come to the Understanding
That
INSANITY IS NOT THE WILL OF GOD.
Everything Happens for a good Reason.
Let’s Begin with This Premise.
Drugs exist in America in Spite of Our Cities Finest
Law Enforcement Efforts.
People who Bother with Media, Public Image and Making a Name for
Themselves are Instructed by Way of Society
in a Thousand Different Ways
not to use
Instructions which,
on a regular basis,
are ignored Entirely…………
The Fact is
The Law is impotent
in Its Efforts to End what
It Perceives as Illegal Drug Use.
Because of its Many Structural Flaws, Beginning with its Absurd Severity,
• its ludicrous aspiration for omnipotence,
• its long Overdue Needs for Update and Reform and…..
• its Lack of Accessibility to the General Public it
Ostensibly Serves,
There Shall always Be illegal Drug Use on Planet Earth……….
That’s not Entirely A Bad Thing… We are told Drugs Destroy
Creativity
yet much of what You are reading Now
has been Created
by a Serious Drug User who
while either Stoned on Marijuana
Tripping on LSD
or speeding Impossibly Fast on Cocaine/Crack
found ample Mind Expansion on most of the Aforementioned Above …
Such that.
Brain Cells Commonly Believed to Be Destroyed
Were
Actually both Revealed
and
Beautifully Expressed…
………………..in a process Most would Describe, if Totally Honest
as
INSPIRATION
Drugs, having a Useful Function when Used to
Stimulate
One’s Natural Genius,
(which shall Always Be Creative
and Never Destructive In Effect)
Do NOT exist for Us to Hurt Ourselves
with
Nor Hurt Each Other for…..
And, Certainly Denying We Use Drugs
when We do
Doesn’t Help Matters Much….. .
But
because of The Flawed and Limited Nature of Human Judgement
Many feel it is Their God-Given Right
to Condemn drug Use…
and with frightful Witnesses to Fear
producing Convincing Testimony Daily
of Some Truly Criminal Behavior of Worse Cose Scenario
would maintain that Such Condemnation is Justified
I am here to Relate
From Experience
that CONDEMNATION is not Neccessary
to Heal a Drug-Addict,
It is But THEiR SOURCE
OF SICKNESS……, ·
and if You Truly Wish
a Drug Addict Health,
You’d Bless Them
and Give Them
The love
They Are Truly asking for…..
(If You don’t Have It to Give Them,
Who ore You to Judge? …………….. You are as Equally Impoverished
as They,)
There is No Substitute for Love.
You con Relate to Others in Peace
with
Nothing
External,
And the Same applies to Yourself.
There is no Substitute for Love.
That is the Hardest lesson We all must Learn
and the Only One,
For Hard Drug Addiction
can teach Us Our Greatest lesson,
(should We opt to Learn It)
that What We are Missing
in Life
is Our own Vitality
which
We should,
in Our Right Minds
be Constantly Willing to Support
with Nothing External
Whenever We allow ‘Something Else, Someone Else
or
Anything Else to
Support Our Vitality as Such,
Regardless of Size, Shape
or Form
Both We and Our Vitality
are Lost
For it is Only MY WILL which gives Me
The Power
of life
It is Only The Power of life I Want.
It is Only The Power of Life I Need.
Heaven is the Power in My Life
These Realizations con Be Hidden From Me,
but Never Lost Entirely…….
Whenever This is Not Plain to Me, It is Never because The Above
has Ceased to be True. I have merely Placed My Trust in Hopelessness
It can Always be Found in THE LIGHT……..
………………though I may not Always Choose
to Go to THE LIGHT
for it.
Any Decision Not Taken to THE LIGHT, However,
will Make Me Sick
since My Health
is in THE LIGHT
so I must Work Always
to Let the light
do Its
Work in Me and Show Me
with The light of Mind that
I am
that I am Not Obeying the Laws of This World
by Healing
but the Laws that I am Following ·
Do Work
and to Let them work in Peace
in Me
to teach Peace Through Me
For that is what a Crack Angel Truly Does, And Only That.
The Way to Recognize if You are a CRACK ANGEL
is Simple;
Do You Forgive Yourself
The Hell?
The Pain?
The Dark Hunger for Nothing?
Are You in Fact Certain of Your Life’s Direction?
Is There Any Hope For You Outside the Drugs that You’re Doing?
Do You Aspire To Any Kind of Greatness?
CRACK ANGELS Inspire Nothing
But Love
For They Add to the World
of Hatred, Addiction and
Denial
The Forgiveness Necessary to Erase
these things.
They Take From Your
perception
that They are in Sick Communion with Nothing
and Transform it
So That They Become so Lovely
to You
YOU Wish Communion Only with Them.
For Angels
Always Close to The Divine,
wish Only to Relate The Divine
to You.
This Is My Gift
To You.
That You may Receive
Only
My Love.
This comes From The Divine in Me
Only asking The Divine in You
Are You Willing to return This Love?
I cannot ask for anything else
for there IS nothing else.
In Our Love of Each Other ·
is the Meaning of All Healing.
This is merely the Forgiving and Forgetting
of all past Hurts
so that No One be bound by The Past. Now
and
that Everyone Who so Cares, Joins Now with Me
This Instant
in Perfect Quiet…..
Where an Idea of Peace so Deep It Literally sustains All Hearts
can be Found and Attained.
Because it is The Heart of God.
Because We Are The Heart of God.
Because it is The Heart of God that is Denied By this Sick Thief
We call Reality
Which is Not Our True Inheritence
(as Dust is Not really a thing to Treasure)
but merely
our frail perceptions
Very Seriously Requiring
Correction,
Healing,
and
Salvation.
When We are Willing to Surrender Up
Our Capricious, Neurotic, and
Insane
Desires to Manipulate and Control
Everything
Over
to THE LIGHT In Us
We will Never Again Be Deceived
By Nothing
For Insanity
is Not God’s Will
for Us all
whom He Created
Only to Love………………
…………………There Were No Words left
to describe
THE LIGHT THE CRACK ANGEL left behind
to be One with ALL CREATION…..
but
in the Dark World of Shadowy Forms,
Painful Hunger
and Savage Frightful Time
the Message· was not lost.
The Struggling Witnesses to it Survived by it
and It was passed on and on Until
it reached ETERNITY,
………… where It was no longer needed.
2 May 1997
Washington Heights, NY
Finnegan