I'm Not Afraid of The Dark

A New York City Poet’s Experience

For all you wannabes

I ride the Subways of New York City
because it’s cheaper than Cabs and
I love the Abundant Diversity of the Subway
Failing to see how I add to it.

I mean I’m
Just This weird
looking fellow in Black,
whom Most Caucasians (and Blacks)
constantly mistake
for trying to pass for white (How Insulting!)
and totally cannot conceive
of my having Irish Ancestors
or even that I
write and perform Poetry
and that I’m NOT trying to audition
for the New Power Generation

(I can’t really speak on “Black Opinion” of me
Other than to say that being a “black sheep”
among Black people
is a ridiculous non-sequitur
I happen to Enjoy …….. NOT! )

Sometimes I walk from my Chelsea Hole
to Central Park and back When it’s warm
because it’s cheaper than cabs
and I don’t mind walking
though I DO mind cabs.

I don’t really go to Clubs because I
like to listen to Music at
Home and I’m not in need
of such a contrived means to Socialize …….. (My Insane Life provides
all I’ll EVER need of That!)

I think that I have a lot of Friends ..
Except that most of them that I Help
wind up stabbing me in
the back and though I’m not
a big Revenge Junkie, I’m also not at
all Addicted to Misery
or Disempowering Hostility and Outrage and so Once Educated to its presence
I don’t Seek For Betrayers
or the Treachery Intrinsic to such
if I can Help it.

I find I need to express MY MIND
and I can easily talk you under the table with my
Unusual Philosophy on Life, which Advocates serenity, Guiltless Being
and spiritual perception
though Perhaps you’d be Equally Taken by my total lack of Desire
to talk at all, or do anything outside a Screen of Etiquette
and Gentleness

my silence will frighten You

I don’t need to talk
every second
to Communicate for I can do as much Listening,
and I’m always listening.

My Memory is keen
for Odd-Detail
and so I Never forget another Poet,

Rarely ever
Associating with them.

Everybody in New York City
is a wannabe Artist,
worse even than L.A.;
I’ve heard people with P.C.’s brag
about their creative projects pending
and years later they STILL haven’t mastered

Everyone seems so terribly desparate here

I am poor here
living equally some Desperate Disaster
Very close to starving
but my Resources are genuinely
Unique to me.

I’ve asked nothing of Convention
WANTING nothing of it.

I am content painting pictures
for the mind. I enjoy being an Artist
and don’t mind Starving for it.

There are Ten Million Stories in the Big Apple.
Mine is no More or no Less important

This City is filled with Millions I’ll Never meet
This City is filled with Millions I’ll Never meet Again

Sometimes I love the People ……..
Sometimes I hate the People.

15, March 1996
I’m Not Afraid of the Dark #28

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